Feliks tore through his closet, an array of skirts, blouses, pants, and other such thing scattered across the floor. A large, leather suitcase was situated on his bed, various clothing items and other essentials tucked inside it messily. He was looking for the little jewelry box he kept in his underwear drawer-- inside it was something very important, and he would not leave home without it.
It had been some time since Toris and Feliks' relationship had begun to turn sour, and this day was no different than any of the others. Most days, they had bickered like cats and dogs until one left the other leaving the both of them in an even more foul mood than when they left. Today, the soon to be arguement was going to be about why Toris had arrived to see just about every scrap of his boyfriend's clothing either in a suitcase, or scattered everywhere else in the room. As far as Liet had been told, the blonde wasn't supposed to be going anywhere, so seeing Feliks darting back and forth around the room while objects and clothes flew haphazardly into the giant suitcase was more than a surprise for the Lithuanian. "Feliks? Are you going on a trip somewhere?" he asked softly after tapping lightly on the door frame with his knuckles.
The petite blonde whirled around, his green eyes wide. "Tori-- what are you doing here?" He asked, his voice calm despite the rising panic. "You didn't tell me you were planning to, like, come over.... Um... I wasn't expecting you, I would have done some serious cleaning if I had."
In all truth... he hadn't wanted Toris to know he was leaving.
And he wasn't coming back.
Toris nodded and cautiously made his way over to the blonde, careful not to step on any of the other's belongings. Just one look at how utterly chaotic the other's room seemed, it was fairly obvious to see that Feliks had no intention of dealing with the clean up afterwards. "Sorry for not calling you ahead of time like I usually do. I wanted to surprise you, but... I can see you're in the middle of something... "
"Yeah... suprise surprise, huh?" He forced out a choked laugh, a nervous and almost shifty look in his eyes. He glanced back at the suitcase, the little box now in his hands.
"Um... I'm a bit busy at the moment..."
"Actually... I came by because I wanted to talk to you about something... Here, can you sit down for a moment with me if I help you pack?" Feliks seemed to be in a hurry, not to mention the fact that the blonde was hiding something from him, but Toris at least wanted to get some things straightened out between them today. Friendly one day, and constantly fighting the next had the brunette at his wits end so he had no intention of leaving until something happened out of his coming here, whether it be for better or worse.
"Um... I'm totally in a hurry, okay? I don't have time to just sit and chat." His train would be at the station at 10pm... it was currently 6 o'clock. If he got distracted, he might not be able to make it on time.
"I hate to have to kick you out-- but I have to kick you out. Besides, you know what'll happen if my mom sees you."
"I know, but this really can't wait until you come back, Feliks." Toris reached out as soon as the blonde was within his grasp and wrapped his fingers firmly, but softly around the other's free hand. " Please, just listen to me for a minute. If you can't, keep packing and I'll talk."
"..." There was a long, awkward couple minutes of pure silence, before the blonde sat on the bed. He made sure to keep a distance between the two of them-- he... was not too comfortable with closeness, not when he would have to explain that he was going away. "Talk, then."
"Thank you..." Toris let a small, relieved smile touch his lips before he took a seat next to the other with his torso turned to face the blonde full on. Days before and even on the ride here, Toris had gone over in his head multiple times what he would say to the other when they met, but it seemed to take him another minute to recollect his thoughts and push down his other questions about what in the world Feliks was doing as he came in. "Do you remember when we were kids, and we'd fight, ignore each other for few hours, but then we'd be back and laughing together again later that same day? Unlike now where we'd not call or speak to each other for several days..."
"... I... remember..." He said quietly, his eyes glancing in every place other than the boy sitting next to him. "Those were the days.... we've known each other for so long. I don't ever remember a time where there WASN'T a you..."
Toris allowed himself to laugh just a little at the other's last statement since it was the same way for him. "Well, the reason I came here today is because I was hoping we could maybe go back to how things were. You know, not saying goodbye to each other without patching things up after a fight?" His hands were tightly clasped together in his lap, and of course he was nervous about how the other would take his words, but he never once looked away from Feliks' eyes. Sincerity in his words was what he wanted to show the most, and being able to look the other in the eye is what he thought could best prove that.
*"I... don't think that will work, Toris..." His words were slow and calculated, not like his normal boistrous vernacular at all. "I... think we should... end... it..." His vice trailed off as crystal tears began to swell in his eyes.
"E-end it..?" The color was quickly draining from the brunette's face as wide eyes almost frantically searched within the other's for a hint that he'd actually misheard. When met with the first few sparkles of the Feliks' tears instead of some kind of cruel joke, Toris took both of the other's hands in his own, accidentally knocking the small box onto the floor as he tried to get the blonde to look him back in the eyes as well. "I know we've been fighting a lot, but isn't that going too far? W-we can fix it. Whatever problem there is, you and me can make it better, right?"
Feliks let out a sharp cry as the box spilled to the ground, the lid swinging open and vomiting up it's contents. What now lay on the floor was a detailed, expensive-looking rosary. "Damn it! That was important to me!" He ripped his hands away and dove onto the floor, grabbing the little beaded item. He clutched it to his chest, the tears flowing freely now. "It's not broken..." His voice took an a relieved undertone. "Thank Jehovah..."
Toris had just about jumped up from the bed after Feliks had pulled away from him so abruptly. Shock was apparent on the brunette's face when he briefly saw the flash of beads before they were craddled against the other's chest. It took a few seconds, but he soon realized that that was more than likely the rosary he had been told about by the blonde a few years ago. "Feliks I... I'm sorry... I didn't mean to..." Toris got down on his knees right in front of his crying other and made to wrap his arms around the blonde's shoulders.
The blonde sobbed into his boyfriend's shoulder, before he stopped suddenly and without warning, his mouth opening to say, "This can't work, Toris." He spoke softly, his voice serious. "We fight... too much... and.... I can't pull off a long-distance relationship."
Since the moment the brunette had walked in, he had suspected that the other would be leaving for good, but he still didn't like the surprise he felt after hearing his suspicions confirmed. Toris didn't want to let go, but his sad viridian eyes became visible agan after a few moments and stared directly into the other's. "Feliks... Where are you going? I don't know how long you've been hiding the fact that you're leaving from me, but at least tell me the truth about where you'll be..."
"There's... a school. It's an Academy where students all over the world go to school... it's expensive, but my mom is hoping that if I go, it'll fix my... gay, to put it bluntly." He sighed and tucked a strand of flaxen hair behind his ear.
"I can't do a long distance relationship, and I can't be with you any longer." The thought of being without his partner in life upset him, but it had to happen.
"I've never known a time in my life that you haven't been there... but that's going to change now. I might never see you again, Toris."
Even before Feliks had finished speaking, Toris had already lowered his head into his hand while the other dropped to grip the fabric of his pants, his knuckles completely bone white by the time his name was said. Well, he had come here prepared to say and hear what had to be said whether they broke up or not, but he certainly wasn't expecting things to turn out like this. The possibility of Feliks actually leaving his life completely had never even crossed his mind. His brain even seemed to stop processing the other's words in favor of concentrating on preventing his entire chest from collapsing.
Several minutes of silence passed before Toris' grip on the thigh of his pants flexed painfully, his eyes never going up to meet the other's when he finally spoke again. "Where is this school..?"
"... I'm not sure exactly. I wasn't told details-- I think Matka wanted to make certain that nobody could follow. She was probably scared that I'd tell you, and you'd come, too." There was a very dejected tone in his voice, his entire body held like he was a limp puppet on loose strings. "There's nothing we can do... it's over... for serious, Toris."
"There is no longer an US." The very idea of it seemed as foreign as the school he was leaving to.
There had always been an us.
If this was supposed to be their last day to see each other again, Toris quickly made the decision that he did not want his final memories to be of them to be like their last parting and suddenly pulled Feliks tightly into his arms. It would be... painfully and unbearably quiet once Feliks left, and if that was what he had to look forward to, he was actually extremely happy that he had come today, even if the tears now streaming down his cheeks would've liked to say otherwise. This way, instead of Feliks suddenly vanishing forever, he at least had a chance to say a proper good-bye. "If there isn't going to be an 'us' from now on, please don't kick me out if we can still spend a few more hours together..."
*'A-ah... Toris, I can't. We can't... I... don't have much time before I have to be at the station... I'm leaving TONIGHT."
He did not break the embrace, however-- he did not want to feel the loss of contact from the person he loved most. It wasn't fair, and it wasn't fun, but...
"Maybe... One last time..."
"If you're leaving tonight, that's all the more reason I should stay with you until the absolute last minute, isn't it?" Toris clenched his eyes shut again and tightened his grip on the back of the blonde's shirt, his shoulders visibly shaking as he inhaled deeply in order to retain as much of his significant other's scent in his memory as he could.
"I'll drive you to the airport myself... just... before you're gone..." Without finishing his sentence, Toris quickly pressed his lips to Feliks' with enough force to equal the amount of pressure the both of them had on their shoulders to finish up this last show of affection before they were torn apart for good.
Feliks couldn't help but choke out a sob as he kissed back desperately, hands reaching up to entangle themselves tightly in his soon-to-be-ex-lover's chocolate locks. He pulled him closer, using this grip to pull their bodies as close as he could.
This would be their last time.... he would not let it be weak, or pathetic, or forgettable.
He never wanted Toris to forget him. He wanted him to love him, so that maybe, after distance had warmed their hearts and softened their tongues--
Maybe they could be together again.
Patience, reserve, gentility, all that Toris normally showed in their most tender moments was picked up and thrown to the wind this time around since all that the both of them wanted in this moment was to be connected as soon as was physically possible.
His tongue clashed desperately with the other's and teeth clicked together as each sought desperately to feel as much of the other as they could in this small window of time they were allowed. Clothes came off almost as quickly and suddenly as they had started, his own thrown about and scattered somewhere amongst his lover's belongings with Liet soon ravishing his future ex's neck and chest while his fingers made quick work of preparing the blonde's lower half.
Feliks was unable to react normally, the pleasure both intoxicating and painful. The only thought running through his head was, 'This is the lsat time... we'll never, ever touch again...'
His nails dug into the other's skin, cheeks wet with sweat and tears. "Toris..." The name was barely a whisper, and could easily be lost in his gasps and mewls and whimpers.
As hard as it would have been for anyone else to hear, that name on Feliks' lips rang loud and clear in the brunette's ears as he left a bright red trail of marks around the other's throat, marking for all to see that this one would always be his.
Even long after they bruises faded, Toris would forever remember the taste of the other's skin on his lips, the exact pitch of the blonde's voice, and everything that had led up to this exact moment as he softly murmured the blonde's name and slid himself inside that unforgettable heat. A soft groan escaped his kiss swollen lips as he let himself drown completely in the sensation of being surrounded by the one and only human being that would ever truly have an iron grip on his heart.
"A-ah! Kurwa! T-Torisssss..." The brunette's name ended as a hiss on the blonde's pink lips. This... feeling... the sensation of being filled, both in body and in heart...
He might never get that again.
He let out a shuddered moan, nails digging in even deeper into the other teen's shoulders.
"Hn..."
Toris did nothing to try and stiffle the other's voice, but instead moved faster and deeper to force more of Feliks' sweet voice to its climax. His own desperate moans were drowned out and smothered in his ears as he focused solely on taking all that he could from this last experience, his hands roaming to memorize over and over again the dips and subtle curves of the other's body.
"Feliks I-- I won't ever..." forget you, is what Toris was going to say, but the rest of his words were choked and forgotten as the brunette quickly began to approach his own climax.
"Hn, nnn.... Toris, kochanie, moj kocha..." His words were not under his control, nor was his body, or his emotions, or anything. He wrapped his legs around Toris' waist, pulling him even deeper, grinding up against the other male, as the other male ground into him over, and over, the sensations causing his toes to curl into the other's back. He was growing closer, and he knew he could not hold out much longer--
At Feliks' words, Toris cried out the other’s name once again and wrapped one arm around the blonde's lower back. The other acted as a brace as the brunette then lifted the other's hips off the ground and thrust as deep as the other’s body could possibly take him just short of making the other break. It was only a minute or two more of this frantic rhythm of motion before the brunette finally came with a hoarse cry of the other’s name.
As the other thrust into him deeply, Feliks continued to cry out, pain and anguish mixing with the pleasure in his voice. He felt like he was going to split apart, but he didn'y care in the slightest-- not when this was the last time he would feel the other's body moving against him, his hands roaming his body, his kisses on his skin.
He practically screamed the brunette's name as his own climax hit violently, his body twitching and spasming at the sudden rush of intense, un-bridled ecstasy. He did not let go of the other after he came, however-- he was clinging tightly and desperately, tears continuing to slip down his scarlet cheeks.
With his arms shaking, Toris let most of his weight fall to the side of the blonde’s body and landed with half his body still covering Feliks’. He didn’t look at the other directly, but he continued to rain soft, gentle kisses on his ex’s cheek and throat. “Aš tave myliu…” he murmured quietly, nuzzling his face in the crook of the other’s neck, his own tears mixing with the blonde’s as they hit the carpet below.
"Kocham cie..." Was the Polish teen's quiet answer, his arms wrapped tightly around the Lithuanian. "Liet... my kocha... We need to go now..." He sighed. He did not want to leave his love, the one he trusted most in the world.
The one who had his heart.
Subject: The Break Up: Toris and Feliks (MATURE CONTENT WARNING) 
Tue Apr 06, 2010 7:20 pm
