A Bittersweet Reunion [Feliks and Toris]

"That's why I'm so horrible... I DON'T." He whispered, tears spilling down his cheeks. "I... don't. It's been too long, I don't know what to do. I feel horrible.. like a horrid, horrid person...."

"I said that even if you do find someone else, I'd still be there for you," he said quickly, but made sure to enunciate every word for the blonde to hear.

"I love you.... I'm so sorry..." He gasped out, clinging to his ex-boyfriend tightly. "I'm so sorry... I hope you can find someone else.... I want you to be happy..."

Toris clung even more tightly to the other and rested his chin on the blonde's shoulder. His jaw was clenched tight as he fought to keep the words he would've wanted to say silent. If he responded with an "I love you", that would've instantaneously been followed with a "you'll always be the only one for me," and that was the last thing he wanted to say if it would make Feliks feel even more guilty about finding another besides him... and the fact that he couldn't even say those three words back is what really hurt him the most.

"..." Feliks gave him a pained expression, more tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

He felt like a horrible person, with the way he was treating his ex... he had promised that he'd always be the only one for him, but... that wasn't the case anymore. He felt like he had betrayed the only one that had ever met anything to him...

"I... have to go..." He said softly.

An unwanted flashback triggered by the other's words went to the day that Feliks left him the first time caused Toris to tighten his grip almost desperately on the blonde for a moment before hesitantly letting him go. "Back to him?" he said quietly under his breath before he could stop himself, the sadness in his voice barely concealed. As if to cover up the small slip up, Toris immediately followed his whispered question with a more audible "Okay... I guess... I'll see you around campus then..."

Feliks' eyes were downcast. "If... if he catches me with you, he might think I'm cheating on him... I don't want to do that..." He didn't want to be disloyal. The whole incident with Francis was bad enough, he didn't want any more complications...

"I... will miss your touch, though." He said, despite his common sense screaming at him. "You... made me feel wanted.... the thought of not being close to you again hurts me..." He sighed.

Toris smiled sadly, but full well understood where Feliks was coming from. The brunette never would've wanted to be the 'other man' in a relationship, so he sighed in his own defeat. At the very least, he and Feliks could at least see each other again even if they weren't together, and that in and of itself was more than he could've asked for. "It doesn't mean that we can't be close again as friends at least... Right?"

"Yeah... that's true.... We'll always be friends..." He smiled, then leaned forward and gave Toris a quick, chaste kiss on the lips. "I just wanted to do that... one more time..."